Synopsis: (Goodreads) I do know things really began to spin out of control after my first sex dream.
It all started with a dream. Nothing exceptional, just a typical fantasy about a boy, the kind of dream that most teen girls experience. But Pattyn Von Stratten is not like most teen girls. Raised in a religious -- yet abusive -- family, a simple dream may not be exactly a sin, but it could be the first step toward hell and eternal damnation.
This dream is a first step for Pattyn. But is it to hell or to a better life? For the first time Pattyn starts asking questions. Questions seemingly without answers -- about God, a woman's role, sex, love -- mostly love. What is it? Where is it? Will she ever experience it? Is she deserving of it?
It's with a real boy that Pattyn gets into real trouble. After Pattyn's father catches her in a compromising position, events spiral out of control until Pattyn ends up suspended from school and sent to live with an aunt she doesn't know.
Pattyn is supposed to find salvation and redemption during her exile to the wilds of rural Nevada. Yet what she finds instead is love and acceptance. And for the first time she feels worthy of both -- until she realizes her old demons will not let her go. Pattyn begins down a path that will lead her to a hell -- a hell that may not be the one she learned about in sacrament meetings, but it is hell all the same.
I was a bit hesitant to start reading this. Ellen Hopkins has a unique writing style. She tells a story in free verse poetry, which I found a bit difficult to get used to when reading Crank, another book of hers, a while back. But when I started reading this book I was used to the style and it wasn’t as awkward as it was the first time I read an Ellen Hopkins book.
One of my favorite parts about this novel is how real the characters were. Pattyn was very strong and made her own decisions. Sure, some of them weren’t super smart, but everyone messes up sometimes. I also really enjoyed seeing how she was conflicted. She didn’t accept the ways of her families religion, but since she had been told that it was right her whole life, she couldn’t just throw it all out of the window. Every time she did something that her family had told her was wrong, she was hesitant to do it, even though she felt that it was actually an okay thing to do.
Pattyn’s father was a really interesting character to read about. At times I could tell that he wasn’t all big, bad, and evil. I could see a bit of humanity in some of his choices, but overall I really disliked him, considering how he acted. It was a bit irritating not knowing what he was thinking and why he did the things he did, but it gave the book a whole new air of reality, because you can’t always know why people act the way they do.
The setting was described absolutely beautifully. The way the mountains in rural Nevada were described brought the whole story to life, and the ranch was a great thing to read about.
I have read nothing like this before, and I doubt I’ll ever come across one even remotely like this one. It was unique, heart-wrenching, and absolutely fantastic. It was an amazing plot that really made me think about what really matters, and it was beautifully written. The only thing that I slightly dislike was the ending. It was open-ended and very frustrating. But, as it’s going to have a sequel, I guess it was a good way to end the book, even if I didn’t get the answers I was hoping for.
As I said before, this novel was absolutely amazing, and I give it 5/5 stars.
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